cout << my->thoughts();: Me's Neo!

My quest to explore my inner self continues. I chanced upon this online test that identifies the character from “The Matrix” whose personality most closely matches yours.

As part of the test, I was asked six (yeah, only six!) questions – each with ten possible answers. Now even a goner like me can tell ya there’ll be 6^10 ways of answering the quiz! And if you exclude the Burly Brawl (remember when Neo fights about a zillion Smiths?), obviously there’s far fewer Matrix characters than number of ways of answering the test. So here’s the deal – there must be a multitude of ways of answering the test which would lead to the same result. Or simply put, there’s a multitude of routes for me to be crowned Neo! Yipee!!

First question: Describe yourself in one word?

I was like … what the f***?? The utter senselessness of the question left me confounded! Wasn't yourself a single word already! How in Apocalyptic Hell do I re-describe it? Is this a trick question? Confused and not knowing what to click, I scanned the choices – frustrating seemed a good option given my current condition and I selected it.

But the torture did not end there. The bloody test-maker had some weird fetish for the word yourself. Up came questions like: "Often, you find yourself questioning _____ ?" & "How confident are you in yourself?" Now, maybe I am abnormal – but NEVER in my life have I seen or heard a word (and that too as simple a word as yourself) question ANYTHING! And for God's sake, of all things, why would I need to repose confidence in a mere word!!

But I was determined. I duly answered the remaining questions - all the time wondering why I always screwed up these personality tests. Upon finishing the test, as I was clicking “Submit”, a rumble of excitement had already started to swell deep inside my stomach. The rumble died down as soon as I had seen the result.

"You are Mr. Rhineheart, from The Matrix. You wear glasses and lecturing people is your hobby."

Now who's this Rhineheart guy? A quick Google search for Rhineheart + Matrix revealed that Rhineheart was actually the name of Neo's boss at the software firm where Neo worked! Okay, so let me see - I am Neo's boss ... and Neo is The One. So what does that make me? Heyyy, I am The Zero! While the mathematician inside me rejoiced at the realization, the rest of me rebelled at the horrible sobriquet I had just earned. Eager to undo the damage ASAP, I decided to take the test again. Result - the manservant in Oracle's house!

I tried again and again and again, but I just couldn't seem to qualify to be Neo! Finally, my patience broke down when that lousy-excuse-for-a-trodden-banana-peel test called me the punk who was with Trinity when she meets Neo for the first time. Gosh - the damned guy had some weird named like Choi or something! Livid in anger, I reacted only as a Computer Scientist could - I decided to brute force the bugger. It had to work! And at the 2171th try, I got my prize which is proudly displayed below for all to see.